How to Create your ‘Peaceful Place’

Emilia Dziubak (Polonia).jpg


Last week on the blog, (link here) we talked about the need to create a ‘Peaceful Place’ in the home or classroom, or even the workspace if that is possible. We basically looked at the ‘why’ of creating this space.

‘We can make it clear that this is a space that we use to make us feel calm and one that we can design ourselves, filling it with items that make us feel peaceful, that encourage us to be quiet and reflective.’

In part two this week it’s all about the ‘how’! We’re looking at the elements of physical space, comfort items, inspirational items and how to use the space.





Physical Space



We suggest exploring how you want the physical space to help people feel… e.g. safe, nurtured, calm, grounded  

Consider if children are the users that small, cosy spaces will always hold a special place in their hearts as will spaces they had a hand in creating.  


2. IDEAS You could engage in brainstorming and mind mapping - starting broadly with general words like ‘cocoon’, ‘sanctuary’, exploring spatial qualities such as ‘light/dark’, ‘soft’ and then gradually becoming more specific as the ideas become more defined.


3. WHERE Also consider the ‘where’  


’Is it a corner?’

‘Is it inside or outside?’

‘Can its place be moved?’


You also need to consider how the space is defined – is there a transparent curtain? Perhaps a tepee?  A special chair or cushion on the floor next to a small table for inspirational items in a corner? The physical space can be beautiful and inspiring and a real project to focus a lot of energy on or it may be quite simple and quick – it’s a very personal space so it’s up to you!


4. MOOD BOARD We have created our own mood board on Pinterest here that you may find helpful. You may like to create your own mood board for inspiration, clarity, and direction.



5. Comfort

The space needs to be one of comfort which doesn’t mean luxury but it does mean paying attention to:

  • Textures, softness and warmth with rugs, shawls, soft socks, cushions, beanbags
  • Igniting the senses  – perhaps an aromatherapy vaporiser with an essential oil (if the children are older and responsible or if it’s for you but not candles with kids of course!)
  • Supervised use of essential oils on the wrist
  • Sounds – noise cancelling headphones if by necessity there is noise around, gentle calming music can be played but nothing too stimulating
  • A feely box – a box with a hole in the side and inside various sensory objects for feeling – it’s very present moment inducing
  • A salt lamp for keeping the energy clear


6. Inspirational items

Traditionally these items are thought of as inspirational:

  • Flowers and other items from nature 
  • Crystals
  • A guided meditation – try our’s Go Walking in Nature and Watch Waves  (link here)
  • A special cushion that is just for meditation (or just sitting with legs crossed on lotus pose to encourage contemplation)
  • Spiritually themed books to encourage introspection
  • Beautiful art – hanging or in books
  • Pictures of loved ones past or present that offer emotional comfort
  • Paper and pen for writing and drawing

There are so many more that each one of us find inspirational so seek those out and use if appropriate, given your own circumstances.


7. How to Use the space

Creating a quiet space brings up issues more then why we’d do it and how we go about creating it. Naturally our minds gravitate to what happens in it. I have raised  some points to consider and there will be more I’m sure but remember there is no ‘correct’ answer. It is all personal choice and whatever works for the users of the space. The point is that the space used and that it becomes a place of quiet, peaceful refuge where being calm and going slow is experienced on a regular basis. 

  • Can you stay for as long as you like or are there time constraints? If there are consider a timer 
  • Is it a talking free space?
  • Is it to be used only alone?
  • Is it free of food, technology (other than audio) 
  • Before entering the space, you could consider things like – breathe deeply and symbolically leave your worries outside
  • Consider using symbolic objects that suggest you are entering into a different space – eg a lamp that is turned on when you enter to indicate we are now quiet, peaceful and slow
  • You could make a sign that says something like this: ‘Before you enter this space, always take a moment to breathe deeply, to gather your thoughts , to feel connected to yourself’
  • Consider upon entering those that use it recall what they are grateful for, to remember those things and people that make us feel thankful
  • You can vary how it is used. For example, the use of the space could be the culmination of a nature walk where items of beauty and inspiration are gathered and placed in the space as a very personal contribution to their time enjoying the “Peaceful Place’ or whatever name you have chosen for it. 

Those experiencing this refuge and the benefits it brings can hopefully, progressively transfer those feeling into their lives in other spaces and circumstances to create a more mindful, calm and peaceful life.










Discovering and Nurturing our Children’s True Nature

One of our challenges is to seek, accept and nurture our children’s true selves as we help them become the best version of themselves on all levels, emotionally, spiritually, mentally and physically. This is different to encouraging them to be the person who can make the most money or have the most prestigious career, as western society often demands. If it is truly not in a person’s nature to be following a particular career-orientated path then it is likely disconnection from themselves and a withering of their spirit will result.  

Read More

Opening into the New Year

Opening into the New Year

The New Year is looming, looking to ignite us all into the quest for new beginnings. Its message is enticing but unless we create space in our lives, how can we make room for and welcome the new? Perhaps that’s why so many of us fall by the wayside in the quest to keep those resolutions? Perhaps we just don’t make the time to look at our lives in the first place! 

Read More

Five ways Towards a more Mindful Xmas for kids

Five ways Towards a more Mindful Xmas for kids

Since I was small I’ve loved Christmas. I know not everyone is filled with joy this time of year but I do consider it one of my blessings that Christmas is full of special memories and that makes me feel especially grateful at this time of year.  I love the lead-up, the exchange of gifts, the celebration of family through a gathering and sharing of a meal, the preparation of the food, the lights, the songs… well, everything really! 

Read More

Happy Mindful Christmas!

MMM xmas_instagram.jpg

It's officially Christmas shopping season, meaning a time of decisions on how you'll spend your dollars mindfully.

If you're looking for conscious, positive gifts for children this Christmas, our children's book, Making Mindful Magic and our art prints make for the perfect gift for children of all ages - nieces, nephews, grandkids, godchildren, friends' children and your own kids!

And we have some special offers for you in our online store...




Free EXPRESS shipping within Australia

Receive free EXPRESS shipping on all orders in our online shop within Australia until 18 December*. Our updated* cut-off to ensure you receive your package before Christmas is Monday 18 December...

Use code 'christmasshipping' at checkout and we will personally update your shipping to EXPRESS POST. 






art prints set.jpg

Art print bundles

Get the full set of our five artwork prints, from our book, Making Mindful Magic, Find Stars, Sit Quietly, Gaze at Treetops, Walk Barefoot on Grass, Watch Waves, one for each of the mindful kids in your life.

Get 20% off when you purchase five prints together (price for 5 x prints = $64.75, discounted set = $49.95).



book + print deal_IG.jpg


Art print + book

Purchase our mindfulness book for children, Making Mindful Magic and an art print of your choice from the book together a receive 24% off! Perfect as a gift for the children and Mums-to-be in your life!





A Path to Self Acceptance

A Path to Self Acceptance

I want to let myself fly! Let myself be free! Let myself be in my own truth as I remain steady within myself! This inner child of mine wants to be free, she wants to explore life, she wants to express herself and be creative and she wants to make her own rules and see what works for her. She’s tired of trying to be perfect and playing to everyone else’s rules. 

Read More

5 easy mindfulness exercises for children to use in the classroom

Mindful living is becoming something we strive towards more and more in modern life, but how can we teach children mindfulness? Mindfulness is certainly not something just reserved for adults, the art of connecting with the present moment, taking our time to do things slowly and appreciating the little things is something we should be teaching children from a young age, an invaluable life skill for so many reasons. And where better to learn such a great skill for life than at school? Here we present five easy ideas to help teachers incorporate mindfulness exercises and activities into the classroom.


Walk Barefoot on Grass bigger .jpg

 1. Quick Grounding Meditation

Introduce a daily ritual of taking two minutes at the start of the class’ day and again after lunch to help yourself and the kids in your class to ground, ready to learn! 

What do we mean by grounding? Grounding means connecting to our own bodies, the earth and our connection to it, getting out of your head and into the body in the present moment. Signs of being ungrounded include hyperactivity, racing thoughts, inability to sit still, inability to concentrate, sound familiar in the classroom with your students?


Meditation Text

Begin by sitting comfortably in a chair with your feet flat on the floor hip distance apart (shoes on or off). Make sure your nice and comfortable and then become still, like a tree. Take a slow deep breath in and out, and another breath in, and out, and one more in and out. Close down your eyes. Bring your attention to your body. Focus on the weight on your body as you sit on the chair. Now bring your attention to your feet and think about your feet as being very very heavy. Can you feel the heaviness of your feet? Feel the weight pulling downwards towards the floor. Now focus on the soles of your feet. Feel the contact of your feet with the floor and the earth beneath it. Continue to focus on the soles of the feet silently feeling the connection to the earth for the remaining time. 


The aim of this exercise is to get the student to focus their attention, quiet down and settle their minds ready for a successful class full of learning.


mindful eating via Pinterest from

 2. Mindful Eating

Mindful eating involves paying attention to the food you are eating, how it feels in your body, being grateful for the nourishment you’re giving your body and noticing when you are full or still hungry. Any opportunity for kids to practice mindfulness is a good thing, to be able to practice paying attention to the present moment and take joy from simple activities can only be positive! But mindful eating has the added bonus of helping kids to develop a healthy relationship with food, to pay attention to their bodies and not just eat mindlessly, either too much or too little.

To encourage this in the classroom, you could practice this exercise with kids a couple of times in the classroom, or simply explain the exercise, then remind and encourage them to try it when they are out in the playground. Questions they can ask themselves:

  1. What colour is your food?
  2. What is the texture of your food? Is it soft or hard? Light or heavy? Sticky or dry?
  3. What flavours can you taste in your food?
  4. What are the ingredients in your food?
  5. How does it feel in your body as you eat it? Can you feel it moving from your mouth to your stomach or not?

Think of a way to make it into a game and you’ll have an even better chance of getting this exercise adopted at mealtimes at school or at home.


via pinterest from

via pinterest from

 3. Mindful Art

You could argue that a lot of the kind of art children create is mindful anyway, most children are great at using art to express themselves authentically, putting on paper their emotions or the situations playing on their minds, without even knowing it! 

To incorporate mindful art-making into the classroom, we simply need to make time to create without an end goal in mind, creating for the sake of creating and focusing on the present moment and the paper in front of you, the act of putting pen, crayon, pencil or paint to paper, or even sculpting with clay.

Why not put on some relaxing music, give out some paper and ask the children in your class to draw how they are feeling right now. Or if you’d prefer to do something more structured, you could ask students to draw around a repetitive, calming, easy theme like bubbles, triangles, waves, leaves, squares, dots, any shape or likeness you think the kids in your class could recreate easily depending on their age. Making time and giving kids permission to engage in the calming, grounding act of art-making is a great way to practice mindfulness.



 4. Easy Yoga

Getting kids into a gentle, calming, healthy practice like yoga from a young age can’t be a bad idea! And making time in the classroom, even just 20 minutes (or 10) whenever you can fit it into your class’ schedule, is enough. Yoga asanas, the physical postures of the broader yoga philosophy, allow us to connect with our bodies, calm our minds through regulated breathing and increase our flexibility and the health of our bodies overall. This is an exercise that appears in our children’s mindfulness book, Making Mindful Magic, available in our online store and on Amazon US and UK.

Some easy yoga poses that children can easily connect with and remember, owing to their gentleness and animal or familiar names and shapes include:

 - Cat Pose

 - Cow Pose

 - Bridge Pose

 - Cobra Pose

 - Corpse Pose

 - Downward Facing Dog

 - Cow Face Pose

 - Tree pose


More information on the poses, including pictures on the Yoga Journal! You don’t need yoga mats to do such simple poses, a patch of grass or carpet will do just fine for this easy level.


Nature Collage.png

 5. Nature Appreciation

This is a theme that also appears in our book, Making Mindful Magic, often; taking the time to appreciate nature. Stopping to notice all the beautiful creations in nature, from the trees to the waves, to the leaves, to the grass and the sky, to insects and birds, is an easy way to help children to connect with the grounding energy of nature, to appreciate the simple, free things in life. A way to incorporate this theme into the classroom could include a short nature walk somewhere on the school grounds to collect leaves, flowers, pebbles, blades of grass, and taking them back to the classroom, spending time appreciating the colours, shapes, names of each thing collected, perhaps turning them into a collage, gluing them on the page and writing or drawing around this theme.




We hope you’ve enjoyed our suggestions for easy mindfulness exercises for children to use in the classroom, and of course, these are all exercises not just reserved for teachers and educators but are ideas you could adapt for home, your therapy practice or studio as well.


Mindfulness as a Vehicle for Finding our True Purpose


I have often wondered what has brought me to my passion for mindfulness and mindful living. I often say it is my own exploration into spirituality that has brought me to it but it doesn’t really explain why that is an important passion to even have.

Recently I have come to realise more fully that mindfulness is the avenue for opening up space in our lives as we slow it down and become more purposeful and aware of what we are doing so we are open for what life is really about, what are own particular purpose for being here is. 

Mindfulness is purposefully going about our daily lives in a calm, uncluttered state, without the constant need to be doing, but rather making time and appreciating the ‘being’ instead. There are times when life is so busy that it’s hard but we can also easily lose sight of the need for any reflective, quiet time unless we make a purposeful effort to seek it. By making mindfulness a priority then we are consciously opening ourselves to the possibilities that surround us, the subliminal messages that show us the way forward to what we are seeking. So many people are seeking, they often are looking in the wrong places. They are looking in material possessions as their answer or in adrenalin as their answer whilst ignoring what is often sitting right under their noses. Finding what is under our noses can be found through self-reflection and listening to our intuition, and mindfulness is a vehicle for finding it. 

We can easily become totally overwhelmed by the day to day trial of what we call living and forget, in the process, the whole big picture of our lives. It is easy to lose our trust in our own perspective and intuition if we are constantly running to everyone else’s agenda. If we try to run our own agenda perhaps in timeframe and priority then we are far more able to make decisions and actions that more whole-heartedly and honestly reflect ourselves and it is in doing this that we discover ourselves and our own true nature and this then gives us clues and shows us the way to discover why we are here and what our purpose is. 

This then is why children and mindfulness are such an important combination. It seems, very few of us, from my generation spent or indeed were encouraged to learn very much about our true nature and purpose in life. If we as caregivers can install the need for mindfulness then a generation will be positively affected to make time for self-reflection and with it will come the practice to trust oneself and ones’ abilities, to fathom our gifts and what makes us contented and fulfilled. These are the signposts to seeking our true purpose for being here. It seems to me that much heartache can be at least reduced if not alleviated by seeking ourselves through this process. 

5 Unique Initiatives Teaching Mindfulness to Kids

Wymbin Yoga ,

Wymbin Yoga ,

As supporters and promoters of mindfulness for kids, at home and at school, and the role that passing on a mindful approach to life can have on children, we’re always on the lookout for others around the world that share our enthusiasm and beliefs. 

We’ve collected up our some of our favourite organisations and initiatives we’ve come across on Instagram and the internet to inspire you and share examples of people creating change in their communities by teaching kids a more mindful way of living. 

Here are five of our favourites:

1. Whole Beings                                                                                                                                                Holistic education centre for kids
Burleigh, Gold Coast, Australia

Whole beings 4 .jpg
Whole beings 2.jpg

Whole Beings was founded by two teachers who also happen to be sisters, who believe that the mind, body, and spirit of a child should be nurtured holistically to help them grow into all that they can be. Peace, compassion and gratitude, a connection to the natural world and the community are all part of their belief system they pass on to the children they teach.

A holistic non-standard approach to educating each individual learner for who they are is employed here with all their students. Whole Beings have offerings for young children to play, learn and create as well as after-school programs for school-aged children and teens to nurture each child's spiritual growth, guide them to use kindness, positive affirmations, and EFT as a mindfulness tool. Whole Beings’ revolutionary approach to education makes us excited for the future of education systems and all the possibilities we have available to us if we dare to think outside the box!



2. Wymbin Yoga                                                                                                                                                  Yoga, wellness and meditation classes for kids

Calgary, Canada

wymbin yoga2.jpg

We connect very strongly with Wymbin Yoga’s reason for being, based on ‘a deep belief that by starting with today's youth, we can start to change the world.’ We started Making Mindful Magic because of an awakening in our own lives of the powers of mindful living and everything that comes with it but realised that the place to start was with our children.

Wymbin is a children and youth yoga studio that focuses on providing families with wellness education, movement-based classes, and an inclusive community environment in Calgary, Alberta in Canada. They believe that through all these initiatives they can help kids flourish and grow!

Wymbin Yoga offers a variety of classes for kids including different variations & styles of yoga, dance, movement, meditation, and mindfulness including some very cool sounding parent and child classes families can do together.



3. Holistic Life Foundation
Implementing daily meditation and movement practices in schools and providing high-quality yoga and mindfulness education to individuals and communities.                                                                

 Baltimore, USA 

holistic life foundation.jpg


The Holistic Life Foundation is a Baltimore-based non-profit organization committed to nurturing the wellness of children and adults in underserved communities. Through a holistic approach helping children to develop their inner lives through yoga, mindfulness, and self-care, they’ve served 14 different schools in the Baltimore area.

The Holistic Life Foundation come in and train the students over a short period of time to lead their own classmates in stretches, breathing exercises, centering exercises and meditation. Students continue to lead their classes through these exercises regularly once the foundation has done their job, meaning these practices are sustained over long periods of time leading to happy, healthy, stress-free, relaxed, and peaceful students. 

We found this incredible organisation through a great article on CNN talking about how The Holistic Life Foundation helped a school replace detention with a Mindful Moment Room to help kids re-centre and think about what they’d done instead of being punished.



4. The Hutto Project                                                                                                                                            Choir for children of displaced populations living in a refugee camp                                    

Berlin, Germany 

hutto project.jpg


In 2016, The Hutto Project came into an emergency refugee camp outside Berlin with the objective of creating a creative music and performance program for the asylum-seeking children living in the camp. For the duration of the project, which has now ended as the camp is no longer in operation, they provided space, time, and musical instruction — 90 minutes, three times a week — for children ages three to fourteen from Syria, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan, Palestine, Moldova, and Vietnam. Together, they explored music theory and performance, created original choral music and movement pieces, and collaborated with artists of all disciplines and ages. 

The objective of the initiative which we wholeheartedly applaud and agree with, was about providing consistency to these children, displaced from their homes, countries and everything they knew, fostering self-expression, and building bridges between the many cultures living in the small community. 

They found that structure also had a big impact on the kids, whose days were otherwise free-form, chaotic, and random in the absence of a formal schooling program in the camp. We believe strongly in the power of music and creative expression as important parts of mindful living for kids, music can even act as meditation as we wrote about recently in our post on 5 Easy Ways to use Music as a Mindfulness and Meditation Tool for Kids.



5. Jamie’s Food Revolution                                                                                                                                 Mindful eating, healthy food and food education for kids                                                        

UK, USA and Australia 


Access to good, fresh, real food and the basic skills to cook it has the power to transform kids’ lives, and that’s what the Jamie Oliver Food Foundation is all about. Jamie’s Food Revolution aims to improve the health and happiness of future generations, through the food they eat. From their food education programmes to their national and international campaigns that influence policy on key issues, they aim to revolutionise the way people feed themselves and their families.

Two of Jamie’s projects we love are; the Kitchen Garden Project, empowering primary school teachers to integrate growing and cooking into the school day, and the Ministry of Foods practical and hands-on community-based cooking programme that teaches people of all ages how to cook. Food is the only fuel we give our bodies, and part of a mindful approach to life is being mindful of the food we eat and how we eat it, looking after our bodies, minds and spirits and giving us and our kids the best chance to thrive and grow.


Free Guided Kids Meditation: Watch Waves

We're excited to present to you this week a new guided meditation for kids, Watch Waves, perfect to be shared with the children in your lives at home or in the classroom. Like our other free guided meditation for kids, Go Walking in Nature, it was created as an extension of our book, Making Mindful Magic, with both meditation audios available by signing up to our newsletter at the end of this post!

Guided meditations are a wonderful tool for transporting you into a space that for one reason or another we are unable to access all the time whilst also allowing us the opportunity to benefit from the experience, to promote deep relaxation and a sense of calm that we can carry into our everyday lives.

If you are a teacher, this meditation would be a very useful post-lunchtime activity to bring the children back into focus and into a calm place to re-engage with the learning process.

If you’re a parent, try using this meditation before bed to promote restful sleep or anytime calm and peace is especially needed.

Below is the accompanying verse from the book upon which the meditation is based.




Watch Waves

Nature is in charge here

Backwards and forwards the waves live

Retreat and advance, the story is endless

changeless, timeless

The only stillness is in your mind

The only silence is you



Waves crash, water moves back and forth, but your own mind can be very still amongst it all. A sense of deep calm can be summoned in the midst of this wild activity. This is good training to connect to your inner self despite what may be happening around you. This then is the essence of the guided meditation – focusing on both watching and listening, using your senses to connect deeply with yourself and the world around you.

Like all meditation, guided or otherwise, we begin by deep breathing to focus on the exercise and to encourage a relaxed, stress-free state. We then transport ourselves to a place in nature, very near the beach and use our senses to really notice our surroundings all the while practising our skills of mindfulness. We journey to the beach and focus on the movements and sounds of the waves to maintain our journey into mindfulness and a subsequent calm and peaceful state.

DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE KIDS GUIDED MEDITATION, Watch Waves, below by signing up for our monthly mindfulness tips for you, your family or your class. 

You'll also receive the FREE download of the audio file for our Walking in Nature Meditation and two FREE printable eBooks, Seven Day Challenge to Calm Nights and Mindful Seven Day Challenge for kids, perfect for parents and teachers to use as a resource for home or class!

Name *

5 Easy Ways to use Music as a Mindfulness and Meditation Tool for Kids



Music can be a powerful, practical tool to bring mindfulness and meditation into our lives as well as our children’s lives. Here we present five easy ways to use music as a tool for mindfulness and meditation with the children in your lives, be it at home or in the classroom. Read our recent more general posts on music for meditation and mindfulness here and here for more tips and information on the links between these two calming, positive practices!

1. As a tool to calm children

In our ebook (find it here), music is used as a tool to calm children in preparation for a better night’s sleep. In the same way, music can be used anytime as a tool for calming children down, to a place where it is easier to be peaceful and more focused on the present moment in much the same way meditation is used. In the article above you’ll find suggestions for some pieces, you might like to try.

2. As a tool to help concentration

By bringing our minds to a calm, peaceful place we can help children become better at focusing on the task at hand. During our workshops music is always used as a part of that process, using finger plays with younger children and action, interactive songs with older ones. If you’re in the classroom use action songs to re-focus after the often highs experienced during lunch break or if you’re at home, try them before homework time.  The very act of putting together words and actions in song requires being fully in the present moment and re-grounds us for better concentration. We like this link here for some ideas on finger plays and action rhymes for young children and you’ll find some good examples to use with older kids here  

Remember any song can be an action song – just add some arm movements. Get the kids to make them up if you’re not feeling too creative or just because kids have brilliant ideas!

3. As a tool for kids to feel their emotions

Just like meditation and sitting quietly are important ways for each of us to connect with our inner selves, listening to emotive music is a tool you can use with your children to help them connect with themselves. Our recent blogs, and last week's about Letting Go talk about why this is so important for emotional well-being and mental health and its early establishment in children is a gift for ongoing healthy lives. After some quiet, deep breathing to bring focus to the moment, try any of these songs that may help children find quiet space within themselves for self-reflection

4. As a tool to use with dance for self-release and self-love

Music is an inspiration and accompaniment for free dance which itself is a cathartic tool to release deep emotions and to focus on the present moment in much the same way as meditation. Children love to move – it is almost a pre-requite of childhood so use music to help establish dance as a tool for self-expression, self-love and self-release. Any of the above pieces (in tool 3) can be used for moving in free dance. We need to establish as adults that there are no rules for free dance and self-expression, it is all good! It releases the soul and acknowledges an acceptance of ourselves and others in a most profound and healing way and without judgment we can be fully ourselves in the present moment.

5. As a tool to write about our feelings and thoughts.

Journaling is long held method for connecting with the present moment. You can use emotive music pieces to encourage children to focus inwardly in a similar way to meditation used before writing. A little quiet listening to music before writing about feelings is a great way to focus. You can use fstimulus statements like, ‘When I listen to this music I feel…..” or “When I listen to this music it helps me remember …..” Very young children can draw instead of writing with similar results. Again the emotive music in Tool 3 could be used but experiment and try different styles and pieces – most likely different emotions and situations will be evoked.

‘In the ancient cultures of India, Egypt, and Greece, music played a therapeutic role in the lives of people. It was created and performed with the intention of bringing about well-being and health. By the Middle Ages, the idea of music as entertainment took over. But down through the centuries, many industrious, stubborn and creative souls have kept alive the use of sound and music as medicine for the body, mind, and spirit.’ Jeffrey Thompson

Let’s be part of making music, medicine for the soul – for ourselves and our children! 

Letting Go

Some of our recent blog posts have reflected on the need for self-reflection for all of us, adults and children alike and how we might make that become a reality in our lives. You can read about it here and here. One of the ways that really helps me to re-ground and allow myself the space to reflect is when I read a spiritual book and this week I’m sharing one that really brings the two themes together – Letting Go, The Pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins., Ph.D.

This book is a very useful part of self-reflection – it gives very practical advice on how to deal with the emotional issues that arise during self-reflection. Hawkins has developed a mechanism he simply and aptly calls, ‘Letting go’. That is exactly what it is – simply letting go of our attachment to the emotions that arise, not in an intellectual way but rather in an emotional way, freed from judgement and self-reproach, free from the judgement of others and instead full of acceptance of life and how things are at the moment.

‘Letting Go: The Pathway of Surrender provides a roadmap to a freer life for anyone who is willing to make the trip.’ Fran Grace

So this is the crux of Dr David Hawkin’stechnique to ‘let go.’ 

  • Firstly we need to find the head space to connect with ourselves to allow emotions to arise, honestly and deeply. 
  • We need to allow ourselves to feel where the painful emotion lives, maybe it’s your heart, maybe it’s deep in your belly, your shoulders or some other place. 
  • We need to accept that emotion without judgement, realise it is real that it lives in a physical reality and not an intellectual one, ‘without wanting to make it different or do anything about it… the technique is to be with the feeling and surrender all efforts to modify it in any way.’ 1.
  • Allow it to stay for as long as it wants.
  • When you let go of your resistance to feeling the emotion, then it will become less and less intense.

That’s the technique in a nutshell but the book is beautifully and simply written and explores issues like why we have resistance to accepting the feelings of our emotions as well as deeper reflections on various emotions and how they affect us like apathy and depression, grief, fear, desire, anger, pride, courage, acceptance, love, peace.  It also delves into questions of stress reduction and scientific proof of this method to name just a few of the issue explored. 

So looking at how simple this technique is for dealing with emotional stress, as adults we can teach it to the children in our lives if we are keen to inspire them to lead stress-free and contented lives. I wish it was a technique I had learned earlier in my own life and I rejoice it’s one my young adult children use to help them deal with issues that arise in their own lives. I believe freedom from the carrying of emotional issues will help us be brave enough to lead the lives we want to live. As a parent that is my foremost wish for my children.   

1. Letting Go, The Pathway of Surrender by David R. Hawkins., Ph.D., page 20

Music for Meditation and Mindfulness

‘Listening to music or playing music can also help us step outside our small sense of self, into a larger, more expansive awareness, just as meditation can.’ Anja Tanhane

By Javier Perez 

By Javier Perez 

Music as a practical tool for meditation and mindfulness is an obvious concept when you stop to consider it. When I even think of music and how I interact with it, I immediately feel more grounded and more centred in my own heart. There are many ways to invite music into our lives, not all of them are mindful although all are certainly joyful and advantageous. Music is often a backdrop to many other things we are currently doing and that is a totally valid expression of our love for music. It soothes and relaxes or invigorates and excites, depending largely on what we are listening to. But music used as a mindfulness practice is something a little different.   

If a musician or student is interacting with their instrument in the act of music making, it is essential to focus fully on playing the piece – present moment engagement comes with the territory and some even liken it to meditation so akin is it to the essence of mindfulness! You can read more about that idea here.

If you are listening to music then you can listen on a superficial level, with the piece playing in the background as you go about your many other activities and that is most definitely a valid way to use music in your life. It is uplifting to envelope ourselves with beauty and it is an appropriate addition to many situations, socially or individually and is how many people generally interact with music – for fun and enjoyment! 

The other way you can listen to music is to engage with it very mindfully, focus on it only, doing nothing other than listening to it, allowing it to engage with us fully and to evoke the emotional responses that allow us to focus on our inner selves. In this article there is great advice about ways to prepare ourselves for this type of interaction with music. Put simply we need to remove possible and real distractions from the physical situation so we are best able to really allow ourselves to feel the music and feel our emotions arise. We may need to look at our physical environment, seeking a quiet place, making sure we are physically comfortable. 

This is not only for adults but using music as an emotional response can be cultivated in children from an early age. In our Seven Day Challenge for Calm Nights eBook available for download here, we suggest listening to music as a path to a better night’s sleep. In this situation music is a calming, relaxing tool, an emotional experience when there is mindful engagement with a piece of music. 

In other ways music can also be used as an evocative method to connect with our emotions as a form of therapy as we allow our emotions to rise, to be held in the safety of the beauty of the music and to let those emotions fade away in the same way as a wave rises and falls. Positive and negative emotions may arise at different times. A physical response can be involved, perhaps the music calls you to move – sometimes in celebration and other times as a physical release for something difficult in your life. It can be incredibly healing and cathartic. 

Music has played a changing role in my own life. I was at one time living a life with so much noise that I felt music was an intrusion into my personal space and psyche. When things changed and my life slowed down and became less chaotic the music joy came back to me, uplifting me as it is so capable of doing. Music soothes me, it entices me to move and when I move, emotions and feelings surface and come to peek out at the world. The world heals us if we let it. Music can heal and restore. I guess the conclusion of this personal observation is to make space in your life for music, set aside some special time for real interaction with it as you use it as a tool for the whole family to move forward into mindfulness.

5 Tools to Help Cultivate Self-Reflection and Self-Awareness in Children

Via Pinterest

Via Pinterest

Developing a routine of self-reflection is beneficial for adults and children alike. Making time for self-reflection and self-awareness activities for children at home and in the classroom helps kids to gain a better understanding of both the world around them and especially themselves.

I love this quote from Jennifer Porter, ‘Reflection gives the brain an opportunity to pause amidst the chaos, untangle and sort through observations and experiences, consider multiple possible interpretations, and create meaning.’ A lot goes unnoticed without time for reflection, many opportunities are lost to assimilate what happens into our thought process without it.  

If we quieten our minds enough to allow self-reflection we can also grow in our understanding of ourselves and this helps us move towards self- acceptance and self-love which are so very important to our emotional health and well-being. Children’s need for this is as great as adults and what a gift to them and the society they will be functioning in as adults, to be making space for self-reflection from an early age. If children are encouraged to believe self-reflection is not only acceptable but necessary, then we are all winning.


Our five top ways to encourage children to self-reflect are these:

1. Be a good example as an adult. Do you project the image of the adult in their lives who is always busy, always having to do, rather than be? Are you the person who sits and reflects without any agenda? If you are then bravo! If you aren’t, then think about making time in your own life for self-reflection and tell your children that are you are having quiet reflection time.

2. Help them find the time in their own lives. Don’t schedule every second of their lives or be perturbed that they may be bored if they have free time – it is every child’s right to be bored and to fill it with time just to reflect and to be!

3 Make a Family Time for self-reflection – it can be part of a sit and do nothing time or it can come with a simple question – maybe thinking about how you feel now or how you felt during your day?  Start small, like 2 minutes and build it up from there.

4 Make journal writing a part of their routine. Very young children can use non-written ways to write a journal,  drawing about their feelings or dictating to a parent can be used if they are too young to write themselves. You don’t have to solve the problem, you can be merely the one who gives comfort and validation to a feeling. It can of course be about positive feelings, not just difficult ones.  It may be a time when they can accept a situation or decide they can do something about it. What is important is they know its ok to self-reflect and ponder life. They will love the independent and powerful feeling it gives them!

5 Encourage gratitude  Ask the question often, ‘What are you grateful for?” You can start by sharing what you are grateful for so they get the ideas. This notion of gratitude can often put in perspective those difficult situations as being perhaps not as huge as they may have thought when weighed against the positive things in their lives.

Self-reflection helps us realise some things are out of our control and need to be accepted as a part of our life’s journey. It gives us the space to recognise who we are and to, therefore, accept and love ourselves. It can steer us into thinking what it is about our life that makes us happiest, who are the people and experiences that give us the most joy and peace in our lives.  If we are comfortable exploring who we really are then we can better use and trust our own guidance and intuition. 

Free time for thinking allows us to access that part of ourselves that we can so often deny, that part that keeps our hidden feelings, our hurt feelings, the ones we are always trying to keep down there deep inside so we don’t have to face them. Letting ourselves have time so they can come up and surface and to feel comfortable enough to sit with them and deal with them is a healthy habit to develop especially in a child as it can be carried into adulthood where the hurts from our childhood can fester! 

 Self-reflection is for everyone! It’s a time for getting to know yourself better and to accept yourself. It’s not a time to explore the idea of being perfect, that leads nowhere positive but learning to accept and trust yourself is a gift best learned as early as possible!  

Self-reflection is a Mindful way Towards Being Present

Sphinx by Elisabetta Trevisan

Sphinx by Elisabetta Trevisan

I love the idea of taking time out for self- growth and self- reflection. It’s part of the self-love philosophy so many of us strive for and is a mindful pathway to both connect with ourselves and to experience being present. It can happen on many levels and in many ways but this was my absolute joy last week-end; a group of women on retreat in nature finding ourselves and our truth. 

We not only reflected on women-kind but the group’s composition reflected women-kind as well. Stop and think of the endless varieties of women, in stature, status, intellectuality, sexuality, interests, careers, personality – we create a rich tapestry as a whole and as individuals too as we embrace many roles as we play out our lives. I felt grateful to be a woman. 

The common thread with this group of women – we were eager to delve deep into ourselves and to find our own truth and explore ways to live with it. We were prepared to acknowledge uncomfortable truths about ourselves and to open to other women’s uncomfortable truths and to support rather than judge ourselves and each other.

This was not an anti-men’s group but rather a strongly ‘focused on women’s’ gathering. Our emersion in nature brought us in close proximity with mother earth as we were safely and warmly held in its arms as we explored known and new possibilities of the nature of women and what that means in real life. The peaceful and gentle side of women was strongly contrasted with and celebrated alongside the wild and primal nature of women’s ferocious instincts, sometimes lying dormant as compromises are made and true selves hidden for convenience, for the comfort of others, fear, for the sake of peace or for any other number of reasons. 

Many questions were asked and given during the course of our time together. I felt pure gratitude for the opportunity and a deep sense of feeling very present as mundane matters were put on the back-burner. I felt a deep sense of the magnificence of women and our many facets that sometimes beam brightly, at other times gently, reluctantly, in sorrow and in joy. I discovered parts of me that had lain dormant and opportunities to celebrate myself – so many layers to acknowledge and explore. 

Not everyone can or wants to devote a week-end to self-exploration for any number of reasons but self-reflection on any level is useful and essential to each person’s spiritual journey. I love and fully endorse this quote from Carl Sandburg:

'It is necessary ... for a man to go away by himself ... to sit on a rock ... and ask, 'Who am I, where have I been, and where am I going?'

There is an opportunity to make a genuine start with this type of enquiry on any level. How and where you do it and how much time you can devote to it is part of each person’s reality but it is possible to engage on the smallest level to make a difference and is our right as individuals to make time for ourselves. 

As a parent, I urge you to embrace the idea of making time for self-reflection part of your parenting plans. For children, you could begin by using a simple question like, “How am I feeling right now?” It can happen randomly or once or twice a day, timetabled like swimming training. It can happen once a week or nightly as part of family reflection time. It can happen whenever and however you think appropriate for your own child and their own situation and maturity but I believe it can and should start young! It then becomes a natural part of life, one they can continue throughout their lives. The ability to connect with your inner self is a gift that we can foster within the hearts of the children in our lives both by giving them the opportunity and by living the example. Let them know you are having some quiet reflection time, give them the modelling that this is a worthwhile part of feeling comfortable with ourselves and that you and they are worthy of taking the time for self-reflection. 

Being present in this way is a gift for everyone – create the opportunity and feel the satisfaction and contentment it brings.