As I sit here writing, I feel a sense of urgency to share of myself on a level that is opening and inspirational but also practical. I am being given the gift of time so I can facilitate this – I know it. It is what developing the women’s self-discovery circles and the soon to be released ebook, is all about. The new phase will be an opportunity to hold recurring circles on a regular basis in a new place, for however long that is. It will be an opportunity to finish writing that book, the one that keeps getting pushed to the background as life and its demands take over.
I am ready to significantly change how I live my life, far from the familiarity and ease to which I had become accustomed. In a few months I’m embarking on another stage in the re-invention program. I am the re-invention! I’ve travelled a lot but never lived anywhere besides the city I was born in. How simple was life when I could wake up, know exactly what was ahead and to engage easily with those I have known for a large part of my life or at least with people that I share some history, albeit even if that is only culturally.
But I know that is not enough for me to call this a life I want. I have no judgment on others around this, many times I wish it was right for me too but I know it isn’t.
I’m going to a totally new town, where I literally know no one and where I will be establishing myself totally from scratch in a community that is small enough to notice a newcomer. There is nowhere to hide! I’m going way out of my comfort zone.
“Always go a little further into the water than you feel you're capable of being in. Go a little bit out of your depth. And when you don't feel that your feet are quite touching the bottom, you're just about in the right place to do something exciting.”
That then is the point. This is my opportunity for re-invention. This is calling me to live as a reflection of who I really am, without the history I’ve carried, without the expectation of family, friends, colleagues and acquaintances. It is a chance to be myself, to speak my truth and live it and to share it.
I do have this strong feeling that I'm meant to share what I’ve learned so far. When I wrote the below list of what I know to be true for myself it was tempting to wade into harsh self-judgment but instead I am choosing to be kind to myself and accept it because it is personal and that is all I can express. Whether it is profound or affirming is for others to decide for themselves.
So this is what I’ve learned and know to be true for me ….
I know to be free to live as you choose is a life-goal
I know to find who we really are is a never-ending journey
I know the journey is the point not a means to the end. On that journey we learn own lessons and we help facilitate the lessons of those we meet.
I know we can be free of our past ties, letting go of the expectation from ourselves and others
I know to dig deeply into oneself can be frightening, sometimes what we find is not what we were expecting
I know it takes courage to make changes
I know that changes can bring discomfort or extreme emotions
I know self-judgment and all judgment is damaging remaining until we take active steps to move away from it and heal
I know a meaningful life doesn’t come from expecting possessions to fulfil us
I know to be a parent is both joy and pain
I know the ultimate goal of parenting is to let go
I know we each have our own lives to live
I know when I ask for guidance it comes
I know I must open to hear and receive the guidance
I know the guidance received is not always what we want to receive
I know we have free will in whether we accept or act on that guidance
I know people are inherently good
I know we can attract unlimited goodness into our lives
I know being in nature connects us with the grounded spirit of the natural world
I know there is a deep connection between opening to our creative selves and being our true selves
I know to be in the present moment is to also be with myself
I know to truly be with myself is what I seek
I am being given the gift of time so I can incorporate what I know more fully into my life as a reflection of my truth. I welcome it and I am grateful.