I’m searching right now to live what I intellectually know to be true. I know I am strong, capable, kind, thoughtful and good company. I want to fully live like I am all that to myself.
People come and go; even close friends and family members are not constant. But I never leave myself – it’s a strong statement but a manta I want to live by.
I want my children to see it so they can be all things to themselves. It’s my gift to them, an offering only learned by experiencing it. I can’t only tell them this is a truth and then live my life not following that truth.
I need and want to be the person who lives as she chooses, makes decisions based on her own values. I want to be a real reflection of myself in every way I possibly can.
It doesn’t mean I need to be alone and selfish with no regard for others but there is a need for a deeper regard for myself, to fully engage in self-love as much as in love for others. It’s about a change of emphasis, a way of prioritising and building a life that works for me. It’s an invitation to myself to be real and authentic to myself.
How can I move my life to a place where this is the norm and not the exception? I have structure and responsibilities like everyone has.
As I write this I am in a noisy café and this is a great analogy of how I can live my life whilst many other things are happening all around me. I can hold my own peace, be my own focus if choose to make it be.
Poem and pastel artwork by Lea